Archive | Self-esteem

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boy sitting on ball

What Am I Teaching My Son If I Let Him Quit Playing Sports Just Because He’s Afraid of the Ball?

  You are teaching him… that you respect him, even if you don’t understand his choices. that you will listen closely to what he says and take it at face value. that it pays to speak up. that he doesn’t have to disguise his real feelings in order to gain or sustain your approval. that […]

page from The Last Boys Picked

Why You Should Read The Last Boys Picked (November 25, 2016 guest post by Jennifer L. W. Fink)

I’ve never been a boy, but boy do I know all about being the last kid picked! I was always non-athletic. (In fact, until very recently, I still described myself as “one of the most non-athletic people you’ll ever meet.”) I wasn’t interested in sports and I wasn’t good at sports. Likely, those two things […]

Closing Down the School of Hard Knocks

Sure, the kid is tough and “can take it.” But should he have to? “He’s tough, he’s a boy. He can take it,” says a father about his six-year-old son, who just got knocked flat on his face by an older brother testing out his brand-new bike. Sure he can take it. What choice does he have? […]

Raising Boys to Be Good Sports: Humiliation is a horrible “motivational” technique.

This is the fifth in a series of six articles about raising boys to be good sports. I’ve yet to meet anyone who actually played better, ran faster, or threw more accurately as a result of being humiliated by his coach. I’ve known plenty of kids who’ve tried harder when scolded, but that usually doesn’t […]

Fail Is Not a Four-Letter Word

How misguided compassion can end up being a child’s worst enemy in terms of healthy social and emotional development Nine-year-old Billy had been a brash schoolyard basketball player when I first met him. Now, a year later, he sat in my office sad and forlorn, next to his worried dad. “He won’t play basketball or […]

Sex and Depression: A Gender-Specific Approach to Healing Guest Blog by Jed Diamond, Ph.D.

For the next several months a group of writers focused on the issues of boys and men are collaborating through the writing and sharing of blog posts in order to bring greater awareness to the unique challenges boys and men face in the 21stCentury.  Twice a month these writers will be posting the same posts […]

Children with Disabilities Have a Right to Be Held Accountable Too

In his blog, Lost and Tired: Confessions of a Depressed Autism Dad (http://bit.ly/18Yafgc), a father recently wrote about why he believes it’s important for him to hold his boys—all three of whom are on the autism spectrum—accountable for their actions. Justly referring only to behavior he knows the boys can control, the dad explained that having […]

Yelling at Your Teen: A Big Disrespect

It’s a sad day in America when we need a study to tell us that yelling at teenagers to discipline them makes them more depressed and their bad behavior worse. Teenagers themselves would have told us the same thing, for a lot less money. Most parents yell at their kids because they’re frustrated, not because […]

Two Heroes at a Cross Country Meet

In the wake of Lance Armstrong’s disillusioning admission of having used performance-enhancing drugs, there has been a lot of talk about the impact of role models on our kids, and about what happens when they let us down. For some kids, though, all this talk about role models is nonsense—too sentimental, too childish. I don’t […]