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dejected boy

Helping “The Last Boys Picked” : Accommodating Non-Athletic Boys in Elementary Education

In the agonizing moments before their names are called, those last boys picked for the kickball or basketball team during gym, or its un-legislated twin—recess—are getting a tutorial in what it means to be considered a liability. Alternating turns, the team captains—boys chosen for their athletic prowess or popularity or both—pick from among the rest […]

both:and blue

From Either/Or Thinking to Both/And: Expanding Definitions of What It Means to Be Male

“The Tyranny of the Or” is how Jim Collins and Jerry Porras, authors of Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies, describe the experience of facing two seemingly contradictory concepts and believing that you must choose only one or the other but never both. Thus, businesses can be either effective or efficient, and health […]

two boys fighting

Boys Will be Boys? Just A Lousy Excuse for Bad Behavior

For too long this familiar adage —  “boys will be boys”  — has served as nothing more than a thin disguise for poor behavior that boys and men should have long outgrown or never developed in the first place. Countless acts of cruelty, bullying, teasing, assault, harassment, and exploitation have been normalized as de facto […]

Emptied cardboard box

The ManBox Entraps Males and Females Alike

  Esther J. Cepeda’s op-ed about the narrow margins of masculinity within which society tells men and boys to live (Guys, are you trapped inside the “ManBox” stereotype? Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, 4/8/17) addresses a topic we are all familiar with, but don’t take seriously enough. Maybe that’s why there’s such a gap between the way men […]

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Helping Young Boys Expand Their Emotional Language | An Article by Clinician’s Digest

Myself and other professionals were invited to weigh in on a piece written by the Clinician’s Digest where we discuss young boys and the challenges they face with expressing emotions. Below is an excerpt with my contribution but feel free to read the full article here. “…Psychologist Janet Sasson Edgette takes a multipronged approach in […]

“My son refuses to participate in sports or go to practice. Do I insist or not?” Demonstrating respect without enabling

  Your son is making it very clear that he doesn’t want to play or go to practice. He might be adamant, anxious, even tearful. Saying to him Okay, we’ll pass on it feels too soft and all but promises a repeat performance the next time your son’s supposed to participate in something he doesn’t […]

HELPING OR ENABLING?

“My son hates sports but I want him to try some new ones. How do I know if I’m encouraging him or pushing him?”  Discovering what’s right for your son

    You’re getting ready to load your son and his gear into the car and notice that he’s gone back into the house for what must be his fifteenth trip to the bathroom. When he comes out, his eyes are red and watery. He tells you that he doesn’t feel well. Does he have […]

boy sitting on ball

What Am I Teaching My Son If I Let Him Quit Playing Sports Just Because He’s Afraid of the Ball?

  You are teaching him… that you respect him, even if you don’t understand his choices. that you will listen closely to what he says and take it at face value. that it pays to speak up. that he doesn’t have to disguise his real feelings in order to gain or sustain your approval. that […]

Son Doesn’t Like Sports? It Could Be His Learning Disability or Sensory Disorder

    Don’t All Boys Like to Play Sports? It’s hard for some people to imagine that sports and physical games don’t appeal to every boy. But as soon as we take into account boys’ unique temperaments, personalities, and physiques, all that variance among them makes sense. Some boys don’t dislike sports so much as […]

page from The Last Boys Picked

Why You Should Read The Last Boys Picked (November 25, 2016 guest post by Jennifer L. W. Fink)

I’ve never been a boy, but boy do I know all about being the last kid picked! I was always non-athletic. (In fact, until very recently, I still described myself as “one of the most non-athletic people you’ll ever meet.”) I wasn’t interested in sports and I wasn’t good at sports. Likely, those two things […]