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From Either/Or Thinking to Both/And: Expanding Definitions of What It Means to Be Male

“The Tyranny of the Or” is how Jim Collins and Jerry Porras, authors of Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies, describe the experience of facing two seemingly contradictory concepts and believing that you must choose only one or the other but never both. Thus, businesses can be either effective or efficient, and health […]

two boys fighting

Boys Will be Boys? Just A Lousy Excuse for Bad Behavior

For too long this familiar adage —  “boys will be boys”  — has served as nothing more than a thin disguise for poor behavior that boys and men should have long outgrown or never developed in the first place. Countless acts of cruelty, bullying, teasing, assault, harassment, and exploitation have been normalized as de facto […]

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Helping Young Boys Expand Their Emotional Language | An Article by Clinician’s Digest

Myself and other professionals were invited to weigh in on a piece written by the Clinician’s Digest where we discuss young boys and the challenges they face with expressing emotions. Below is an excerpt with my contribution but feel free to read the full article here. “…Psychologist Janet Sasson Edgette takes a multipronged approach in […]

boy sitting on ball

What Am I Teaching My Son If I Let Him Quit Playing Sports Just Because He’s Afraid of the Ball?

  You are teaching him… that you respect him, even if you don’t understand his choices. that you will listen closely to what he says and take it at face value. that it pays to speak up. that he doesn’t have to disguise his real feelings in order to gain or sustain your approval. that […]

a boy bullying another boy

Kids Bullying Kids: Ideas for Stopping the Cycle of Aggression In School and At Home

Our discussions with kids about bullying typically cover such topics as what they can do, who they should tell, or why kids bully in the first place. But where does that leave the kid who feels the only way to keep himself safe is to bully other kids? Does he have anyone telling him that […]

Figure Skater Johnny Weir Hits A Chord With Marginalized Youth

In the 2006 Winter Olympics, a young man by the name of Johnny Weir competed in men’s figure skating. Weir skated beautifully in his short program, but not so well in the long program. He didn’t win a medal, despite high hopes from his countrymen. But his flamboyant style and unapologetic demeanor captured the attention […]

barber shop red white and blue pole

“Boys Will Be Boys”: A Bad Excuse for Bad Behavior

It’s a simple phrase meant to dismiss bad boy behavior as simply boy behavior. Because of it, countless boys have been left to suffer at the hands of other boys, the latter group empowered by the implicit sanctioning of their brutality. Sure, girls and boys are different. Most girls will never take to blowing snot […]

jake and austin in florida

My Son Doesn’t Like to Play Sports and I’m OK With That

Austin (with Clifford & Monkey) and Jake (with Curious George) My son doesn’t like to play sports. And I’m okay with that. I’m not so sure about the rest of America, though. In our culture, it seems that boys who aren’t interested in sports are quickly set apart from the other boys on the block. […]