A teenage girl stares at her mother who waits patiently and smiles kindly at the elderly man whose unfamiliarity with paying electronically is holding up the line at the register. “Why were you smiling at that guy?” the daughter asks on their way out, her impatience showing up front and center. “Why wouldn’t I?” her […]

dejected boy

Helping “The Last Boys Picked” : Accommodating Non-Athletic Boys in Elementary Education

In the agonizing moments before their names are called, those last boys picked for the kickball or basketball team during gym, or its un-legislated twin—recess—are getting a tutorial in what it means to be considered a liability. Alternating turns, the team captains—boys chosen for their athletic prowess or popularity or both—pick from among the rest […]

both:and blue

From Either/Or Thinking to Both/And: Expanding Definitions of What It Means to Be Male

“The Tyranny of the Or” is how Jim Collins and Jerry Porras, authors of Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies, describe the experience of facing two seemingly contradictory concepts and believing that you must choose only one or the other but never both. Thus, businesses can be either effective or efficient, and health […]

two boys fighting

Boys Will be Boys? Just A Lousy Excuse for Bad Behavior

For too long this familiar adage —  “boys will be boys”  — has served as nothing more than a thin disguise for poor behavior that boys and men should have long outgrown or never developed in the first place. Countless acts of cruelty, bullying, teasing, assault, harassment, and exploitation have been normalized as de facto […]

Emptied cardboard box

The ManBox Entraps Males and Females Alike

  Esther J. Cepeda’s op-ed about the narrow margins of masculinity within which society tells men and boys to live (Guys, are you trapped inside the “ManBox” stereotype? Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, 4/8/17) addresses a topic we are all familiar with, but don’t take seriously enough. Maybe that’s why there’s such a gap between the way men […]


Helping Young Boys Expand Their Emotional Language | An Article by Clinician’s Digest

Myself and other professionals were invited to weigh in on a piece written by the Clinician’s Digest where we discuss young boys and the challenges they face with expressing emotions. Below is an excerpt with my contribution but feel free to read the full article here. “…Psychologist Janet Sasson Edgette takes a multipronged approach in […]

the three stooges

Bullying Has a Long History in American Humor and Entertainment

Bullying and cruelty have a long pedigree in American history when it comes to our culture of humor and entertainment. The “Smack-O-Jack” game that my brother and I invented and tormented each other with decades ago was surely born of the countless hours we spent watching those Three Stooges, with their oddly compelling antics. These days, […]